Psalm 119:67 "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but no I keep Your word."

Charles Stanley shares these thoughts on this:

I must be "truthful" and tell you that this is very hard for me to do.  I KNOW what I am suppose to do, but my flesh more times than not gets the best of me.  

Three years ago, my  mother, who has emphysema, was put on a ventilator, after so many days, it was time to put a trach in as she was not weening off the machine fast enough.  They wheeled her down to the OR.  Within a minute, the speaker system announced "Code Blue, Code Blue OR Room 4".  Her nurse came to get me and we went to the OR.  They revived her.  And then five minutes later I heard the same announcement.  The OR nurse brought me to the OR room door, in case I wanted to say "good bye".  

I was pregnant, and alone, as it was the worst snow storm that winter, and our whole county as shut down!  I remember praying , on me knees the OR waiting room bathroom, "Oh God, not now.  How will I survive?  (I am an only child) I am not ready yet." 

I could have screamed at God and shook my fist at Him.  I didn't.  Those moments I KNEW He was with me, in control, carrying me. I felt His presence.  He sent people to me, to aid me.  Nurses who sat with me, friends who talked with me and prayed with  me.   I did not feel bitterness or resentment. 

That was the worst time of my life, the hardest adversity for me.

Members of my family do not speak to me because I told the "truth" about their behavior.  I was recently excluded from a baby shower because of it.  I am struggling with resentment and bitterness.  Trying very hard to not let that seed grow in my heart. 

How "important" was the baby shower compared to the possibility of losing my mom?  

Is it the same for all Christians?  To me, logically, funny I know since my logic and God's are NOT the same, I should have had the resentment over my mother instead.  The "larger" of the two incidents.  

Oh, what makes us tick?!

What about you?  What situations do you find resentment and bitterness grow in you, instead of  letting it be used to grow closer to the Lord?

 

Side note: My mother did not die that night.  She was 98 pounds, at that time, and they performed CPR on her twice.  She survived with not ONE broken rib!  No lasting brain damage!  God's hand was all over her that night...and me.